First off, INTRODUCE yourself!
TTCAL is an amazing place for support when you are trying to conceive after a loss. We support each other through the difficult emotions that we deal with, through bad and good days. When you give support, you get support. Bottom line. So please, lurk for a couple days to get a feel for the board, post an intro, and then start offering support to the other girls. Also, please remember this is a public message board—everyone has different beliefs, opinions, and feelings.
Offering support does not include only posting phishing posts. We all do it every now and then, but if all you do is post threads that are centered around, “My BBs hurt/I’m nauseous/I’m exhaused (i.e. early pregnancy symptoms), please look into your crystal ball and tell me I’m KTFU!” it is not considered giving support.
As the name would imply, none of us are currently pregnant. There is a board for that called Pregnant After a Loss (PgAL). If you find that you did not have time to introduce yourself or to get to know the ladies on the board before getting your BFP, please go directly to PgAL and do not announce your BFP on TTCAL. It hurts to see the drive-bys that remind us that we are still trying. Here’s a good metaphor that might help explain: You look into a room and notice there is a support group being held for women who are TTCAL. You say to yourself, “Well hey, I had a loss!” So you jump into the room, shout out, “I’m pregnant!” and then turn around and leave. Not nice! Click HERE for a couple blog posts about when to post a BFP on TTCAL or not.
Most girls on the board agree that if you are going to post a BFP post, a warning in your title “(BFP mentioned)” is appreciated. Or if you possibly have a positive HPT a warning is also appreciated (e.g. “possible BFP mentioned).”
Also, if you do get your BFP and you would like to come back to the board for a very valid and nice reason, please put a ticker warning in the title of your post. Seeing tickers can be VERY hurtful to women on our board. We are usually fine with it when lurking on PgAL or the other pregnancy boards, we obviously do not get too upset over it. But the TTCAL board is a safe haven for us, so if you are coming to the board with a ticker, please have some tact and just put in a warning. That way it won’t catch anyone off guard and some people can chose not to open the thread for that reason.
TTCAL is a safe space for women with living children and those without. As a result, it is discouraged to have photos of young children in your signature in an effort to protect the most vulnerable on the board.
What constitutes young? It varies and there is not one straightforward answer. All pictures of children could potentially be a trigger for the ladies in our community. As a result, carefully consider the hurt your photo may cause if you decide to leave it there.
If you plan on staying on TTCAL and calling it your home board please be mindful of the ladies who have no children to hug and hold. Signature warnings are appreciated but also call more attention to the situation. As a result, please consider removing any pictures of children who are under the age of 5.
Finally, please be aware that any signature photos of your living children can pose security risks. Google has a neat function that allows users to reverse search images which could potentially lead back to personal facebook or instagram accounts.
We really want to get to know you better! We suggest personalizing your siggy. It can be a badge, ticker, a picture of anything or yourself, etc. It will help us recognize you a lot faster so the Newbie feeling goes away quicker. Our board is fast paced and unfortunately has a lot of posters, so it can be hard for us to recognize you when your siggy is the same as everyone else’s.